how to get your head out of a banister...

headed to foreign lands. the horizon looks bright kiddos. so happy and so torn. life here for me is amazing. i have wonderful friends, jobs, and a dear family who loves and supports me endlessly. why would anybody leave those things? all i can say is that sometimes when life is so good you have to just shake it up. i didn't realize it until i made the decision to leave how stuck i felt. how much i needed to do something different, and trying to sound as un-cheesy as possible, how much i needed to look within and find some truth. the place i'm headed isn't the most reliable when it comes to internet, hell this place isn't on an electrical grid! i'll post when i can so put me in your RSS feeder if you can and come adventure with me.

xo ks

new view

you're the reason i cry myself to sleep...

you looked like the sun
i was the only one
who could stare until you were done shining on me
and as we drank our wine and let the world fade away
the sunrise tried to end it while we tried to stay.

the rest of my life can't compare to this night
and only the heartaches have given me sight,
they bring me to you
they bring me to you

moon pours through the ceiling tonight
embraces us tight
shows me we're right for each other
and as we lie here and let the world fade away
the sunrise tries to end it while we try to stay.

the rest of my life can't compare to this night
and only the heartaches have given me sight,

they bring me to you

it's all about the first night and last,
some people say
well i love you so much more tonight,
more than yesterday.

he rest of my life can't compare to this night
and only the heartaches have given me sight,

they bring me to you

-jr

**sometimes we live our lives in songs because that's all we have

go now, don't look back...

i've gotten used to being introduced
hello, what's your name, how are you?

they see my smile, my life and the hurt behind my eye
loss is not so easily disguised

i've tried my best to keep on with my sunny disposition
but i close my eyes and end up reminiscing

so save me from waking up tonight
cause i toss and i turn and it doesn't feel right
save me from waking up tonight

left to my own devices i'd stay up till 3 am
spend the whole day awake and do it all again
cause my dreams are filled with pleasantries that make me think you're here with me
they won't let my poor heart mend

i have tried my darnedest to continue smiling wide
but i miss you and that's something i can't hide

so save me from waking up tonight
i thought i was fine but it looks as if i might not make it through the night
so save me from waking up tonight
please save me from waking up tonight
cause i toss and i turn and it doesn't feel right
please save me from waking up tonight

i'll kiss you like i want you to kiss me...

i got my ticket for the long way home
two bottles of whiskey for the way
and i sure would like some sweet company
i'm leaving tomorrow what do ya say

when i'm gone, when i'm gone
you're gonna miss me by my hair you're gonna miss me everywhere
you're gonna miss me when i'm gone

i got my ticket for the long way round
the one with the prettiest views
its got mountains its got rivers
its got should be woods give you shivers
but it sure would be prettier with you

when i'm gone, when i'm gone
you're gonna miss me by my walk you're gonna miss by my talk
and i know you will miss me when i'm gone





carter sisters inspiration

it wasn't you...

to you i wish that i could say i wish you well
but i think i'll be waiting until i'm honestly able
i'm sure the air is lighter on the sea
and every city settled far away from me
cause now i'm negotiating with the fear
something's wrong with the daylight here
and i can't fix it
crooked or kind, if im free, if im fine
either way, whatever i do
whichever coast, there'll be room there for ghosts
either way, i'll be thinking of you

when gone i have sworn that i will worry not of satisfaction, justice, or the will God
i'm not sure there's any difference in the three
whatever the conscience decrees, i hope we both feel right
crooked of kind, if i'm free, if i'm fine
either way, whatever i do
whichever coast, there'll be room there for ghosts
either way i'll be thinking of you

on the tenth floor, down the back stairs...

joy division::disorder

it really is a joy division kind of day i guess

we make hope from every small disaster...

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments

-oriah mountain dreamer